My name is Lucius-B – a twin from the far away planet Orion-Exo-Delta who was sent to planet Earth to find the first gate to enlightenment. My mission is not easy while my brother Lucius-A is waiting impatiently for my return and detailed report. On my home planet we appreciate to sit around helium bonfires smoking our famous stellar-apple-joints. Then everybody will tell a story about the past and the future, the universe and the multiverse, as well about our eternal journeys through the widths of cosmos because we are the interstellar hijackers who nobody knows. The distance to my home planet is around 5 million lightyears from Earth, this is not too far away because we found a trick to use the power of black holes for travelling. O. K. it is not comfortable in a black hole, quite tight and everything compressed, also a bit chaotic dematerializing but the energies of a black hole are just crazy and will transport you anywhere like a lightning. In former times we also could only stay on our planet but after around 500,000 eons it was a bit boring so our scientists began experimenting successfully with the energy of black holes which transformed our culture early enough. Therefore one of my ancestors could already visit your planet Earth around 1,500 years ago when he met the tribe of the Tolteks in South-America. The Tolteks liked my ancestor and always called him the holy star ghost fallen down from sky. As a special honor for him they constructed in the nearby desert big symbols by placing down on earth stones. I have seen the symbols when arriving at your planet but the Tolteks must have been vanished to another planet because nobody was there anymore. My ancestor was once told by the Toltek shaman that we should come back in around 1,500 years to the Northern hemisphere of this planet during midwinter, then everything would again be very fine and enlightening.

According to the terrestrial calendar the day was the 21 December, so I arrived just in time on this blue planet Earth. But here in Quebec where my navigation system had led me finally everybody was only busy running through all the town while being packed with all kinds of things like a mule starting a very long trip. What is wrong with these people? Is a crisis approaching or one of their stupid wargames so that everybody just takes what is available in the diverse shops to be prepared? Only the children seemed to be happy and were standing in a long queue before a redly strange disguised man with a huge white beard who friendly touched the hands of the children advising them to be always courteous in the coming year. But everybody else was just always busy and would not take any notice of me, so I was wondering whether I really did reach the right location. When the evening approached an elderly married couple saw me loafing around in the streets and finally asked me what I was looking for. If I would have no home, then I should accompany them because their house is really big with plenty of place. We had a nice dinner with turkey and for dessert they served delicious plum pudding. In one of the plum puddings they had placed a coin, so after eating the plum pudding I was lucky to find the coin because that meant a free wish for me. So I wished to find the first gate to enlightenment during this night of midwinter. My hosts firstly did not understand me right enough, but then they explained to me that their prophet found final enlightenment in a desert called Sinai around 2,000 years ago, so maybe I should try the same in a desert.

But then they ignored me completely and placed a rope through the living room where they fixed long socks. I was told not to bring any disorder in the room, but this sock installation really does not look nice so I was quite dazzled. When I asked my hosts for the purpose of the socks they replied that Father Christmas would place nice presents in the socks during the night as an annual ritual to make everybody happy. For my understanding, this proceeding is quite complicated and bizarre: Why did they not just invite this Father Christmas for dinner to receive all the presents because he seemed to be somehow a part of the family. They only laughed and mentioned that Father Christmas is actually very busy – again another busy person – and that he urgently has to take care for his very old wooden slide and his six reindeers pulling the slide, that he is a real old fashioned traditionalist using only wood for heating for example. I did not believe this story because I had not seen any reindeer in the city only a lot of stinky cars creeping over the icy streets of Quebec. So they immediately changed their mind whispering to me cautiously that in case I am truly a nice and kind alien then eventually the spirit of midwinter, called by everybody only Jul the sunny boy, will bring to me this night the book of enlightenment which I can then find next morning in one of my socks. Now, I realized that my mission can be accomplished. Very contently I watched the dark winter sky and searched the radiating Sirius constellation where my home planet can be found. A little bit exhausted after all these weird terrestrial incidents I finally went asleep knowing that my journey had been successful. And as a polite alien I wished in my dreams at night everybody a nice and peaceful holiday season – may the interstellar light always guide you safely through your jungle of life